Please, I Beg You, Do Not Fuck Up My Timeline With 280 Characters Of Bullshit

I’m a simple man. Father. Husband. Designer. Coffee enthusiast. Twitter user. And I beg you: Please. Do not ruin Twitter with 280 characters of bullshit. Please. Do not fuck this up.
I just want a thing on my phone I can open up while I’m taking a shit or riding the subway (literally, after I t...
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